From the moment he awakes, to the moment
he falls asleep,
his day is a strict
regimen of order;
Wake up, shower,
shave, teeth, breakfast
with the wife he never loved, then to the library to read that days copy of the Times, then meet up with his lifelong friend,
Arnold, at the pub to watch the sport, drink his half pint and discuss the news. Then, mid afternoon
was his variety
time with his wife, be it going to the little independent
cinema, where they would play the old films of his youth,
for a special
discount for OAP’s,
Sometimes they went to McDonalds
for a meal, or perhaps,
if they could afford the journey, they would take a trip to a National Trust building. On Weekends he would cloister
himself away into his shed, with the company of his radio and his model trains
and airplanes. In the evening
he would lay the table for the meal his wife had cooked for the two of them. They would eat in silence, and then go to the living room with the coffee, him with his book, her with her latest project,
be it knitting
something, or sewing
a quilt. Sometimes
she would write letters to long lost friends whom she had hardly seen in years.
Inn his day, he would not have said anything that brought out his passion,
nothing that could make him smile. In essence, nothing
he had said that day, or countless
days previously held any relevance.
No worth. Just polite conversation
to the few people he still knew so as to somehow
pass the years of his retirement.
Then to bed in his freshly
laundered pyjamas. Separate
bed to his wife of course, they had not shared a bed in what felt like a lifetime. The scent of there linen mixed with soap is always the last thing he remembered
as he fell asleep.
This was where his life was truly lived.
This was his reality.
This was where he lived out the adventures of his childhood
and the dreams
of his adolescence.
This was the life he desired at the back of his mind his every waking
hour. Suppressed, he was too ashamed to reveal these desires, for fear of ridicule and humiliation.
Travelling across
the continent of Asia atop an Elephant,
through the thick Congo Rainforest,
Slashing at vines to find the hidden
treasures of the Amazon. In Paris he would seduce
a beautiful young woman he remembers from his 20’s, whose name might be Angela, might be Abigail.
Then he would be socialising
with the artists
in Italy, then the Intellectuals
of London. Being all the things he knew he could be.
Sometimes he would dream of how he imagined
physical passion would be (for he had no children,
despite desperately desiring
them).
In his heart, he was all these things
and more. He knew, if he had only been given the chance, or been smart enough to take it when it was dangled
in front of him. He knew this is the man he could have been.
That night was a particularly beautiful
dream. He had found the girl in Cairo after discovering an ancient temple.
She was a beautiful dancing
girl, covered in veils of silk and sparkling jewels.
They were to be engaged almost
instantaneously. The marriage
was on a tropical island
in India. The royal families
of the world were there to shower
the new couple
with gifts, and to congratulate
the happy couple.
The wife of the man knew he was dead before
she had even gotten out of her bed. Just like the time she had known she was pregnant, going to that back ally doctor to have the tiny life aborted. She knew her husband would not
want
a baby, and they could never afford
one.
She made her tea. She thought
about the day ahead. Slowly
it dawned o her that the only reason she continued on with her life was to fulfil
the needs of the man she so desperately loved.
They were not discovered
for a week. They had no pets to bark or mew when they were not fed. They had no children to check up on them. It was not until Arnold told the police
nervously, apologetically, that he had not heard from his friend and would they be able to check up on him. It was not until the day after he called
them that two police officers
found the time to visit the flat where the couple lived and broke down the door.
They found her sitting
on a chair in the kitchen, slumped
over the table.
The cold nearly
empty cup of tea by her side, the rollers
still in her hair, the bottle of pills grasped
in her frail withered hands.
And they found him, laying serianly
in his bed, a gentile
smile playing over his lips, now forever
with his Abigail.
Or was it Angela?
This
is a more complete piece, as in I think it’s as finished as it can be without
getting some feedback, so please leave some.
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